went to the Senior center today...taught the class on making valentines...so many older people who are so used to death they thought i should be "over it" by now.
over it? this is my mother..how is it possible to be over her death? i miss her so much and going to where she lived last was painful... i longed to go back to the house she lived in before she moved there. the place i still feel her warm embrace...but i spent the hour and a half and went to the senior living center..said hi to the staff and felt USED. are they kidding? why would i want to come back as tho there is a place for me there...
i embraced the elderly thing when my mother was there..i was involved...was committed to seeing the people..but now..it has been a month and i think it is not time..not now..not there...but the women who were there for the class were kind and warm..and i was happy and sweet and kind as well..but inside i felt quite sad...and came home with a stomach ache.
i think that is from the hidden feelings...
i miss frannie...i miss my momma
catherine
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