Dear Mom.........
Right now, it is 1:30am, the festivities are over...and here i sit at my computer thinking of y0u.
I am thinking of the pain you right before you died, when we were talking with you, loving on you and telling you how much you meant to us.....when you realized that it was the last time we would see you...and the tear that fell from your eyes...
This Christmas, I sat in your home, filled with your grandkids, and thought of how happy you would have been.
Sometimes, I just don't understand life. In those old days when the kids were young and you and dad were young...those were magical days...we knew it...we appreciated it...we tried to live every moment..but day by day..they all slipped away...and everyone grew older. today, I look at myself in the old bathroom mirror that I used to use to put makeup on in high school, and I dont even recognize myself. .....we are born..and grow up ..and slowly grow old..and then we ourselves are gone.
there are so many days that I dont even realize that time passes..i waste it watching silly tv programs or not taking advantage of every day...
other days...i try to appreciate every moment...but it is so hard...because before you know it ..it passes right in front of you.
tonight we set the table, full of sparkle..and light...you would have loved how your house looked.
i had so many dinners at that table. and tonight, it was my turn, with ed sitting in dad's spot and me sitting in yours.
how wierd that was...like a distant memory..while we were struggling to make new ones.
mom, I missed you so many times today....
and then tonight I thought of that tear...that last tear when we were saying goodbye right before you died...and i think it was then that you realized it was our goodbye.
i miss you so much mom..more than words....
merry christmas mommy..............
thank you for giving me such a wonderful life
cathi
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